Are you "shoulding" yourself into overwhelm?
I should make dinner for the kids.
I should grade those papers.
I should clean out the car.
My house should be more organized.
I should call my parents.
I should be more loving to my spouse.
I should workout.
I should eat a healthy meal.
When I think about this list, I feel so much overwhelm and my real list is even longer.
But really, I don't have to do any of those things. And telling myself that I should be doing all those things just makes me feel defeated.
So instead, I tell myself:
I want to...
Or I choose to...
Or maybe even, I choose not to...
I choose to make dinner for the kids tonight.
I choose to grade those papers right now.
I choose not to clean out the car.
I choose not to organize my house.
I want to call my parents.
I want to be loving to my spouse.
I want to workout.
I choose to eat this pizza.
Being more honest with myself helps me take responsibility for my choices. And when I tell myself "I choose to grade those papers" instead of "I should grade those papers", I get access to the part of myself that feels in control.
Challenge yourself to exchange I should do that for:
I want to do that.
I choose to do that.
I choose not to do that.
And notice how much more in control you feel.