"Shoulding" Yourself

Uncategorized Jun 23, 2019

Are you "shoulding" yourself into overwhelm?

I should make dinner for the kids.
I should grade those papers.
I should clean out the car.
My house should be more organized.
I should call my parents.
I should be more loving to my spouse.
I should workout.
I should eat a healthy meal.

When I think about this list, I feel so much overwhelm and my real list is even longer.

But really, I don't have to do any of those things.  And telling myself that I should be doing all those things just makes me feel defeated.

So instead, I tell myself:
I want to...
Or I choose to...
Or maybe even, I choose not to...

I choose to make dinner for the kids tonight.
I choose to grade those papers right now.
I choose not to clean out the car.
I choose not to organize my house.
I want to call my parents.
I want to be loving to my spouse.
I want to workout.
I choose to eat this pizza. 

Being more honest with myself helps me take responsibility for my choices.  And when I tell myself "I choose to grade those papers" instead of "I should grade those papers", I get access to the part of myself that feels in control. 

Challenge yourself to exchange I should do that for:
want to do that.
choose to do that.
I choose not to do that.

And notice how much more in control you feel.


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